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Flux invests directly in early stage startups, who then work with the team and mentor community for six intensive months. The group is going to be bigger and better! Rocos is building a command and control platform for autonomous robots and vehicles. The platform is initially focused on the management and operation of autonomous mobile robotics in agriculture, mining and emergency response.

Thieve is founded by Tim Scullin, and is a community curated shopping site with the best direct to factory products. ThinkLadder is co-founded by Katie and Mark Gatt. A modern mental health application based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, ThinkLadder already has thousands of users around the world. Customers use ThinkLadder for self-awareness, to trace unhelpful beliefs and replace those beliefs with more empowering alternatives. Chipi is founded by Carlos Seguin Lozano and Jing Li, who bring senior product management and development experience from Xero.

Chipi is building a global search tool for all your cloud based apps and files. Picture your own Google search or Mac Spotlight for all your personal cloud data. Cohired , founded by Andrew Nicol founder of Agoge and Vivek Sharma ex-Fonterra operations manager , takes hundreds of CVs and shortlists the five most relevant candidates for that role and company. As a woman who lives with an abusive manipulator, I frequently search online for ways to cope or a deeper understanding of why my husband is the way he is and I must say you hit the nail on the head!

It's like you personally know my husband and wrote this describing HIM! Perfectly worded! Often I find myself unable to translate the bs I've exsperienced. Thank you for this article and God Bless all that are currently living with someone like this! I'm sorry for your situation. Not sure why you're staying If you couldn't, you would be gone by now. I am with, what I call: A Happy Manipulator. He is really a pleasant man nearly all the time. His problem is Manipulation, lack of empathy, passive aggressiveness and interestingly enough, ADD.

He doesn't so much as change a light bulb in our house literally and he pretty much gets to do everything on his free time that is SELF-related. When I get tired of doing everything while he satisfies his love of WHATEVER, he always calmly reminds me that, "I should ask for help more" or "I'm freakishly always cleaning something and making things perfect. Once he focused in on one of my GF saying. We are both 50 and going through the changes that inevitably come with age.

Sex is off his radar. After having confronted him several times very gently and always with an understanding nature, I realized he has no intention of doing anything about it. Because his needs are met. His body no longer desires sexual contact so why would HE do anything about it?

This is behavior lacking in empathy. He's a cyclist. A pretty avid cyclist and in that world, equipment is everything. Shortly after we started living together, he asked for a loan for a new bike. When I became uncomfortable with his asking, badgering and childishness, he would back off. Then his internet investigation would begin again, the "deals would soon to be over", saving him in the thousands! He couldn't understand why I " just won't lend him the money?

This is manipulation. When we talk. Deeply talk, about issues that could potentially break us up, the frustration I have is sometimes staggering. Ex: I am trying to convey my feelings about something. I'm keeping it short, getting straight to the point, and all at once, he gets up and walks into the bathroom to check his contact. No heads up. No, "Give me a moment babe," Just a departure. My words are lost and I see defeat. This is a lack of attentiveness. ADD that is compounded by all the other personality issues listed above Sometimes I'm left astounded by his lack of intuition, introspection, and empathy.

Through reading and much thought, I've come to the end of the line. Sometimes there is just too much water under the bridge. Some things can't be fixed. I wish you well. Like some comenters here have said some people are in manipulation by choice. Any suffering you go through is exactly what you deserve. You are both good examples. Keep enjoying your manipulations. This is a great article with very good insight into what a manipulative person looks like! I am in day three of having broke it off with my manipulative lover. I wasn't aware of what it was, i thought he was such a respectable, kind and compassionate person.

However, I would catch him talking about people sometimes unkindly and two facedly and it would bother me It was like he was trying to defame other people After reading this I realized he was an absolute master at triangulation. The worst though is I knew something was wrong because at about a year into the relationship, I began being jealous. I didn't understand why but I knew that wasn't me - I've never been the jealous type. Then, I figured out what it was- he would let me know every time another women wanted him.

He would tell me they were texting him and asking him to come home with them etc.. After I got over those kind of women he upped the game. He then insisted I be okay with him bringing is "ex" FWB along on the nights we saw each other -I was a crazy jealous person for not being okay with that. The final straw that woke me up to the BS was after we had discussions or arguments several weekends in a row about my jealousy. I owned it completely and told him I would work on it. The very next weekend he upped the ante and brought a drunk girl along with his ex FWB to the bar he knew I would be at and let her hang all over him and then expected me to just ignore it.

I couldn't believe he did that considering how raw I had been about the jealousy and how it was hurting me so much that I was hurting him by making him feel bad that I was jealous, I even cried over the fact that I was jealous and making him feel uncomfortable-yeah he was that good. I asked him, "Am I supposed to accept that? How would he not know it would hurt me? See, I still doubt a bit.. But, I just decided it wasn't worth it.. He wasn't that great person i thought he was and he actually is a bit evil His exwife tried to kill herself and his ex girlfriend went pyscho as well and now, I know why If you are in a relationship with a person like this, leave That is all you can do is just leave..

They are terrible people and you will die from them sucking the life out of you or taking your own life to get out of the shit storm they put you in. Just leave and go through the pain. Oh, and he is a fireman - i know they come in all walks of life but it is especially scary that someone that is supposed to protect and serve are perpetrators. Thanks for your writing. I am trying to get over a 4 year relationship? Loved this man deeply and thought we had a future. The more I read the plainer it gets. Now I am feeling like I am a complete idiot for letting this happen.

I guess I can't make him feel as bad as I'm feeling because there is no soul to deal with. I just want my tears to dry up soon. I just got the feeling, that most people in the world are manipulators, because they are sick in the head. Normal, healthy person would never do that. People have low self-esteem, because they are dumb and retarded from nature. Primitivity rulles the world and human race has never fully evolved.

Here you have it, the most harsh truth you can get.

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Sadly, I feel that this comment is completely accurate. I try not to dislike people in general, but upon getting to know them better, they almost always display such hideous character! Jenifer we are riding the same wave. I am questioning why a child seem to understand free things do not exist in nature but my life is full of these many many "adults" who think in form of free provisions. Its like children take a wrong turn somewhere and grow into imberciles instead of adults.

Many people with low self esteem are often too nice for their own good and have reasons for low self worth. I know a person just like that, my daughter's ex. He pushed her over the edge and I' will leave it at that. Unfortunately she has to continue contact with him because they have a child together, he has physical custody and calls the shots, which he just loves. He is constantly playing head games with her, recalling past, past events and lying about them, and to others he is the victim.

He plays it well. He has his 6 year old lying, keeping things from her mother because he says so, you can tell it's starting to have an effect on her. But if you say anything to him, he is the perfect parent, he does no wrong.

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He is so arrogant and manipulative it's sickening. My daughter has no choice but to deal with him and I believe he is going to make her life as miserable as he can for the rest of her life because she left him. Although he has another girlfriend, I hear he treats her just as bad. What can she do? Nothing phases him, nothing. He has no empathy, no compassion, no acceptance of responsibility for anything he's done. He's always right, she's always wrong. Her family sucks, his is the best. I've never met a person like him in my life.

Underneath the facade, these people feel worthless. But they lack insight about how to live a better life. I find this article remarkable as personally I have found with acceptance that I may be partly to blame for choice of women that most women do this as a natural part of life. More importantly I have heard many women laughing at how they have or are manipulating their man. This article is very true and insightful. Iam a professional businesswoman , so getting to the top and being the favorite is honestly a brutal war-game of manipulation.

It is especially difficult when your boss plays into the game by encouraging your coworkers to literally hurt each other. I have dealt with my boss and coworkers stalking and following me and my family members to get information, My boss sends out emails about false events or opportunities to lure us into traps to find out our interests to further manipulate us, she spreads lies and rumors to defame us so we do not have any other place of employment My boss is the type of person who uses manipulation to feel powerful.

She is very insecure and jealous of us. She hates it when we outshine her. Thats just a bit of it. Plus i only tell half the truth and remember everything I say to see which fool is the snitch. It honestly revealed alot about a deceiful "friend" who was in fact helping my boss along with other coworkers manipulate me. She was also spreading false rumors within our work community hindering my chances of getting a job.

Come to find out she was a double agent- working for another company mind you these two companies hate each other. My "friend" would do every thing to try and get under my skin and make me jealous By boasting about how of an in demand businesswoman she was and how our boss loved her my boss clearly did not like me etc That never got to me though. I was kinda just like that's great Im just not the type to be jealous of my friends, im more encouraging and open to helping a manipulators dream come true lol.

Anyways Im a good reader of people so i can sense when things are off. With this friend, i noticed she mimics people alot in demeanor and speech. She began to speak like our boss and say words that our boss never said in front of her and i in the same room my director is a predictable person. At that moment I knew something was off. I continued to play dumb as I was getting more info from her and about her.. It helped me to be a step ahead of them. As i did this they became agitated with me and would get upset when i wouldnt give them what they wanted or respond to their tricks..

They even tried to report me for bad behavior to our company manager who is also our boss' husband- sigh Even though my tactics were helping me i was honestly tired of playing this game with them. So i literally set up bigger boundaries and distanced my self from the manipulators and this "friend.

Mental Files in Flux by Francois Recanati (Hardback, 2016)

I noticed them become so concerned and ask if i was ok blah blah blah and all the fake heartfelt shit manipulators do. I took my power back and they began to feel it. I honestly dont care anymore.. Im planning on revealing that i know soon. Hopefully theyll stop altogether - doubt it People are truly psychologically sick I have a nutty woman customer like this.

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Everyone in her business premises is at war. She fuels the wars from morning to closing. I know I am often thrown in to the wild animals in my absence. Lucky I do not work for her and when she has no money to pay for my service I do not tell her openly. But I just say it softly to myself. Yep, I used those cutters and cut my brother out of my life. I had always loved him unconditionally and helped him any way I could. While I read the article aloud to my hubby, we were like He also plays with our mothers mind and guilts her into her buying things, loaning money, etc.

I help my elderly mom, I bathe her, take her to all doctor appointments, shopping and everything else. He has not done ONE single thing.

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I invited him to meet Mom and I at the funeral home to make her final arrangements, he started acting out about the POA right there in front of them. Right in the parking lot he got in my face, I told him never to call, text or come to my home ever again The next day I put a no trespass order on him. I might also add that him and his wife are so bad, their daughter wants nothing to do with them. They treated her so bad and threw her out of the home when she needed them most. She has cut them out of her life. They want back in but under certain conditions to suit them.

I do love him, but he is toxic to my well being.


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I've had to block on every platform her as she is mentally unwell. I need strength to completely heal from this and move on. I had started to heal and move on until she reached out and told me she had found the love of her life she did this to hurt me, I know then he cheated on her, then they got back together. She told me all this! I feel so used and pathetic at times!! I've been called an empath I just find it hard to uncare and break away. Even though it's a toxic situation.

I can't help but care! How to I uncare, move on and give my life and love to someone who would appreciate it?? Thanks for taking time to read this:. Like many of you, I have fallen victim to manipulative people in the workplace and in other areas of my life as well. I wasn't always as adept at catching on to this kind of behavior as I should have been.

But I have gotten much better at this, especially in recent times. I believe a big part of this is to understand the difference between "being nice" and "doing right". Understand that it is perfectly OK to be intentionally rude and irate to those who willfully disregard your interests.

I had a client who often complained about my services. When I saw that this wasn't going to work, I wrote the disengagement letter spelling out why I was leaving. He then complained that I was disengaging!

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It was bizarre and irrational. ME: "Do you think I resigned to be a jerk!? I resigned because this isn't working for either of us for reasons stated in the letter and I saw no remedy for these problems other than resignation. ME: "Then we need to undo that error. Seriously, you were unhappy with my services.

Now you are unhappy that I'm leaving. Do you enjoy being unhappy or something? Abigail Brenner, M. View loss as a challenge to help you become a stronger person. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. Making Sense of Nutritional Psychiatry. Educating for the Future. Abigail Brenner M. In Flux. Follow me on Twitter. They prey on your best qualities.

Knowing other people is strength. Knowing yourself is power. Divorce option Submitted by Frank on January 19, - pm. So, why don't you file for divorce on your own? I live in Canada, and I did it myself. I am now happily married for the last 3yr.

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The best thing I ever did. Manipulative people Submitted by Theonethatgotaway on October 29, - pm. Submitted by Cassandra on November 1, - pm. Manipulative People Submitted by Andrew on July 7, - pm.